Behind a Public Library Circulation Desk
Shit Patrons Say.
-
- Me: Okay, what's your library card number?
- Patron on the phone: I don't know, I'm blind.
-
I love my library. I love my librarian. You get prettier every time I see you.Uncomfortable old man
-
Don’t the buildings in France look old? I mean, that’s okay, but they look older than the ones here.Woman on the phone who often calls to ask leading xenophobic questions.
-
Can you guys make an announcement? There’s a black Hyundai parked on my phone.Sweaty man
-
The man next to me is banging on his keyboard too loud. It’s giving me a headache.Woman using the public computers
-
I’m looking for a book, I don’t know the title or the author, but it’s a romance book about a dragon shifter.Patron who begins to name off titles that don’t exist
-
I set my cane with a pack of cigarettes and piece of paper against the wall out there. The wind blew the cigarettes and paper into that little fenced in garden over there. Is there anyone here who can climb the fence for me?Older man
-
Oh that nail polish looks really good on you. It must be a generational thing. That stuff just isn’t for me. Like rap music.Elderly patron
-
Yeah, I read like the first 50 pages of it before it got popular.10 year old checking out The Hunger Games
-
I wish the library would just burn to the groundPatron with fines regularly over the “blocked” limit
-
Can you ask someone who has worked here more than a month?This kid questioning my coworker (who has worked at the library significantly longer than I)
-
Yes ma’am, I would like to know the date that two commercials aired. They were in the 1960s. One was for Tang with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, and the other was for Koolaid with Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.Elderly woman on the phone
-
I have something for you and for me (empties his pocket, full of change, onto the counter). Make it paper and keep half for you and half for me.Adorably foreign old man
